Future Forecast

Recently, a good friend of mine asked me if I was afraid of the future and where we were headed in life. I though about the question and responded to him with the following: "what do you think I think about on the tredmill?! Although I meant this to be only half serious, I do often think about where our time in the present is going to lead us in the future. Going through a rough first year being away at school myself, I have been doing more thinking than anyone should at my age about how I want my future to look. It's a scary thing to think about how yes, we do have some say in controlling where we end up in life, and what we choose to subject ourselves to, but it also seems to be that more often that not that there is always some hindrance blocking us from our dreams. Whether they be the goals of our immediate or long term future, it hurts when the things we see ourself doing don't go as planned.

Long before he was my boyfriend, Daniel was always a firm believer in the John D. Rockefeller quote, "I always try to turn every disaster into an opportunity." When I first read that when I was 14, it really didn't pertain to my life at all. Even looking at it now, I don't literally take the word "disaster" Rockefeller uses literally, but more as a means of expressing lost hope and broken dreams. I know not only myself, but many (and most) of my friends are going through a time when we all are beginning to shape our futures, but are going to have a hard time getting there. With jobs being harder to obtain, and internships being nearly impossible for anyone my age to get in the magazine industry, it all seems unfair when things build up at once and good news seems like it will never come.

After all, everyone just wants to succeed...right?

The Climb

Lately I've been doing a lot of thinking about myself. Not in a selfish sort of way, but in a deep, inner reflection sort of way. My question to you is this-at which point in our lives do we ever give ourselves satisfaction for who we are, the things we have accomplished and the people who we have touched in our lives? I find that lately myself, and so many other people I know fall down with the inner battles of self destruction and perfection. No, I'm not taking anything away from giving everything your 100% best efforts all the time. I am saying that in mean time, while your out there becoming the best person you can possibly be, enjoy the ride.

I've realized that for the past few months, and especially the past few weeks, I've been trying to change so much about myself and about the way that I go about things, that I've spent more time worrying and beating myself up internally than actually letting myself transform into the person I want to become naturally. Everyone says that the common phrase is to "stop trying and things will come naturally." Well somewhere along the way, everyone stopped letting things fall into place as they should, and started forcing things to happen THAT day, THAT week and THAT minute.

The world just doesn't work that way, and thank God it doesn't. The biggest part of the lesson about learning who you are and who others are is by the journey and time it takes to get to that place. You don't need to have your whole life figured out at 19 years old. If you did, what else would you have to look forward to in life? Focus on what you can do in your life to make the pathway for your future the best that it can be, but realize, (and more importantly), accept, that the future is unknown for a reason.